I think it is time for a picture update!

alright

Ready for a picture overload? I realized that I really haven't posted any pictures this year!

Every year in my dads family we all get together and have a news years day lunch. So yes, these pictures are almost from a year ago! But this was that day! One of my favorite days of the year!

I realize that this is not a flattering picture of me, but look at those two cuties! I love my nieces and nephews!

RB's aunt passed away, actually the end of 2014, but had her funeral in 2015.  It was a hard time, and brought back many memories of when RB's mother passed away. It was so sudden. Both were young. In fact their dad is still alive and has had to bury two of his kids.  This picture was taken at the graveside service. This is another niece and my sister-in-law, aren't they just so cute! Yes, it was a cold January day!

This is one of many pictures I took of all the flowers at the funeral. I couldn't resist! There were just so many beautiful bouquets there.

This is another cute shot! I told my father-in-law to pretend he was asleep :) So it is kind of staged, but it is still so cute!

Finally got around to putting some vinyl on my Mixer! I love it! Now time to do the other side!

My lovely sister graduated with her bachelor's degree this year. I really tried to get a picture of her smiling at me from where she was sitting, but she could tell when I was taking pictures, and kept giving me goofy faces! Silly girl!

My dad's face is priceless in this one! He is such a goofball. He totally knew I was taking a picture and pulled this face! My dad never smiles in pictures when I ask him too.

This is one of my sisters best friends, we sat together at the graduation and I so I took a picture to commemorate it.

She did it! 

Another one of my favorite days of the year is when I have my family reunions! I got to meet this little cute guy!  

Tried to get a panoramic picture of the reunion, of course it is hard because everyone is moving around.

Another one of my nieces, with a big plate of goodies! They just love sweets! I don't know if she was able to eat all that.

My cute sister and her son!

I wanted this puppy so bad! I loved it! My cousin brought it to the reunion! This is my sister and another niece:) she didn't want her picture taken, but wanted to pet the puppy!

I made this shirt, and decided I liked it to much to try and sell it.

I visited my sister for a couple of days in the summer.Made my nieces take a selfie with me!

But of course, my nieces also got a hold of my phone and loved taking pictures. This is their cute dog named Diego! He is a senior dog and loves to take lots of naps!

I got sick at my sisters, and all her kids kept trying to take care of me, it was pretty cute.

Another shirt I made, but I didn't keep it.

This is what happens when your apartment is so stinking hot! You attempt to make your own air conditioner....Sadly to say, it didn't really work.....

Yes, this picture is upside down......Maybe I will fix it someday. We watched the fireworks and this is us, waiting for them to start.

Puzzle! I loved this puzzle picture, It was a hard one, but I finished it! Now it is hanging on my wall.

Yes, one day I opened my drawer and it fell to the floor and broke...... It is fixed now, but these dressers are so old! I hope they can hold together just a bit longer!

Time for Yellowstone pictures! One of our classic picnics we have every year!

I think people were just getting back from getting soaked in Beehive Geyser! You can kind of see how soaked my father-in-law is, it was my nephew's idea.

See how my nephew is soaked?

Pile on Grandpa!

The colors on this geyser basin were so pretty,  This is at the geyser basin that has steamboat.

Best place to get a burger in Yellowstone!

This was me on my birthday! This is a short hike, but I had to keep track of my heart rate. When it got too high, we would sit and rest. So it took 3 times as long as anyone else doing it, but hey, I did it!

Another place to eat in Yellowstone! This one is closer to our cabins, so we usually end up eating their a couple of times during the week.

I love this picture! This is my husband and I on our anniversary! We went to Olive Garden to celebrate! My husband will probably not like me posting this picture, but I think he is adorable!

Yep, went to Disneyland this year! Back in February. I think I will do another post on my trip there, but this is one of my favorite pictures taken while there! Me and my niece! I was sitting on my walker (yes, I have a walker) waiting for my family to get off a ride and she wanted to sit with me, it was so cute!

What am I thinking? I do not know......

Wow! If you made it through all of this congratulations!  And I feel like this is my 2015 year in pictures post!

Yeah yeah, I know

Yeah, I know my last post was pretty depressing. What can I say? My blog is here and I use it basically like its my own personal journal. I have even made it into an actually hard copy journal. It is a nice little book on my bookshelf.

I am really bad at updating, because I feel like my life really doesn't change that much. This week is thanksgiving, and I will be visiting my family.

I am participating in Nanowrimo, although I am incredibly behind. I am only at 10500 words, and I am supposed to be in the 30,000, but I am not disappointed at all, I am surprised I have gotten to ten thousand words. My Goal is to keep writing on it, even if it just a little bit at a time. I have gotten my character into a forest and has been stuck there for a while......it is like, I can't connect this point to this point. I like to just skip ahead, and I think that is what I will be doing. All of the sudden she will just be out of the forest.

Winter is hard. I mean, I really like a lot of things about winter like: pumpkins, turkeys, presents, holiday smells, electric blankets, beautiful snowy days, cuddles, and fireplaces. I could think of more, but I think you get the point. The reason it is hard is because I feel the affects of my CFIDS/SIEDS more drastically during the winter, and then their is always more depression. So it is harder then other seasons.

My sister has been coming and helping me out once a week, and it has been really awesome!  That is something new.  She didn't have a job for a bit, and so I hired her!  Don't worry she has a job now, but still helps me out. I have loved it. I feel less depressed with a cleaner home!

I have a doctors appoitment this week, my side has been bugging me and so I decided I should get it checked out. I will (hopefully) keep ya updated, but I guess if you don't hear an update then all is well in that area.

Another thing! I have an awesome husband. I just wanted the world to know.  I met him and married him before all this weird stuff happened to my body, and he loves me just as I am. We had been married for 3 in a half years before I got really sick, and I am glad he has been by my side through it all! For some reason, people find out that I have not been sick all my life, (you know only for the past six years (and now I am having a debate in my head, its not like a sickness, more like a disability, maybe I should just refer to it as my disability, but then some people who are disabled refer to them selves as being sick.....but at times all I feel is sick....I just don't know)) they are shocked a bit, and even more shocked that my husband married me before I was sick..... Its like they think, that if your disabled/sick that is what state you should have been in when you got married.....of that is just another rant going on in my brain......Anyways, yes my husband is awesome, and he does awesome things! He wrote a book a while ago, a technical book and it has been doing really well. I am very proud of him!


Wow this blog post got long. And  now all I want to know is my word count.....stinkin nanowrimo

Some days I feel like my life is over, because the future looks pretty bleak.......

Chills?

Hello
I am determined to write more in this blog.

Today I took a medication that is supposed to help with my heart racing when I stand up....for my POTS.... the theory is my heart has a hard time compensating when standing up trying to get the blood pumped around my whole body, I have a lower Blood pressure when this happens also, So I am on this medicine that helps bring up my blood pressure by constricting my vessels hopefully making it not so hard for my heart to pump blood around my body......What really happens....
My heart still seems to race...... I still feel woozy when I am up and doing things and still feel the need to sit down to ease my heart...and then a side effect of the medicine is every single hair on my body feels like it standing straight up....like when you get the chills, but a constant chill.... I get cold even when it is warm in my apartment. My husband is probably going to come home and say something about how hot it is in here :)....I don't really see a difference in taking this.....not sure what to do..

I have been reading a book, It is a really nerdy book...The Martian, but I like it because the dude is a botanist (along with an engineer) and gets stuck on Mars. I am about half way through it.


UGG!! Chills! all the time!


ok bye

Hello

Well, Today is another Sunday, and yet another day that I slept until 2pm... It is really weird.... I don't really ever understand my body. It is not like I didn't go to bed at a decent time. I actually didn't have much trouble falling asleep last night.  My husband woke me up about the time to get ready for church. I had a headache, took some pills and fell back alseep until 2pm.... well how fun *she said sarcasticly* I don;t know what people really think of me never going to church....I don't feel inactive, I just feel.......like I am drained all the time.....I feel like I really do what I can!

Anyway that is my rant for the day.....

when I am awake, I feel like there are so many things I want to do....I made a list of projects I want to work on....and it has just been sitting there........that kind of makes me more depressed by just looking at it, and seeing all the things I didn't do this summer.... I really feel like the summer has just gone by way to fast.

I did attend a writing class once a week(for 5 weeks) that was taught by Author Heather Frost! I did miss one week due to not feeling well. They were taught in the evening and for some odd reason that is always the time I usually feel the best. It was really fun! My sister would come over earlier in the day, and she would clean my house :) I really need the help I have come to realize...Having a cleaner house definitely makes me less depressed, but it makes me even more depressed sitting in a dirty house, and not feeling like I can clean it. So I have hired my sister for now (yes, I pay her:) And it has been wonderful!!! Anyways, she would come help out, and then we would both attend this class and then after we would meet my husband for dinner somewhere! It has been fun!

I celebrated my birthday in Yellowstone this year. I have done that a couple of times in the past, but it has been a while.  It is fun having my birthday in Yellowstone, but  I miss having the cake :) but that is ok, I should go buy me a small cake  this week and we can have a little celebration!

This week is also my anniversary! Holy crap! Time really does fly right by!

What?

Next thing I know is summer is coming to an end? Wait what? I feel like I haven't done anything.

I just got back from my yearly trip from Yellowstone last saturday.

I finished the puzzle I have been working on for weeks last night.

I slept through a doctors appointment today

I didn't fall asleep until 5 am this morning.....silly panicy thinking brain.

I emailed my doctor....we shall see how that goes.

I read three books last week in Yellowstone! It was awesome!

I have not yet been to bear lake this year :(

Yes.....not feeling well today.

My POTS has been a bit crazy! I did not exercise for an hour......Really I would just stand up and my heart goes crazy.

no sleep krista

I have not slept all night long..............I laid there, everything quite, but couldn't sleep, got up and did some light cleaning, and laid back down.....It didn't work. Got back up and have been trying to do other things, I wonder if I go lay down, I will be able to sleep.... I sure feel tired, but my body doesn't seem to like to ever have a good nights rest.


and remember, I like comments! At least happy ones:)

What I do

My life is so interesting. I really never know how I am going to feel from day to day, and it makes things extremely hard to plan. Like today for example, I need to go to the post office, but I have had terrible tummy cramps! Ugh, so bad that I have also been puking....oh so lovely. I think they are over for now. I really don't understand my tummy..... I have been feeling pretty good the last couple of weeks, normal ups and downs, but before that I was having a rough time! Tummy aches every day, sleeping lots, aches and pains. It just was not fun. I stayed inside a lot! I feel like I could put my  life into a graph.....

And when I feel yucky that is when I just do not keep a health journal because it is hard, even though that time is probably the most important time to keep up to date on my health journal.

Didn't believe me I had a health journal? Well here is a picture of it. I know, that name is funny.

This is what the inside looks like, Weekly schedule, heart rates, and journaling

Funeral

I wrote this post on my grandmas funeral, and forgot to publish it!
Today was my Beautiful grandma's Funeral! It was so nice to see lots of my family.


My Grandma and Grandpa had 9 kids, 34 grandkids, around 44 great grandkids and more on the way. 1 person from each of the families got to represent

It was beautiful. She had 3 girls, 6 boys. The cool thing is that my grandma had each girl about ten years apart. First was a girl, middle was a girl, and last was a girl, with a bunch of boys in the middle of them.

I'm sitting here on my bed with my legs in pain (if I do to much during the day, they ache at night) and just thinking how wonderful of a grandma I have. I am the Women I am today because of her. I had mothers at many different times in my life, but she was the one constant mother figure I had for my whole life while growing up. Lots of things I learned about how to go about life. I learned sewing from her, cocheting, knitting, and many other things...
I really would love to just write all my memories that ever pop into my mind. about her, and so hopefully this will be a progresive blog post as I remember memories. I shared two previous memories of my grandma on the blog post before this. ( they are neat you should go and read them)

After school I would always go straight to my grandmothers house after school until I was old enough to not have someone look after me, but it was fun. She taught me how to crochet  and I would crochet lots of pot holders. Because that is the only pattern I new at the time. I need to take a picture of them and put it on here.

a Month!

 I really can't believe it has been a whole month since my grandma passed away! Wishing time would just slow down!

My right side of my face and neck hurt right now. I am getting a cold sore, I guess I have been stressing too much... I just need to not stress.....ha ha, ya right:) It doesn't help that I already have a weakened immune system. Here is to hoping I can just make my brain stop stressing and get over this cold sore, tomorrow! That would be nice.

I recently got to participate in a CFIDS/SEID research study. Got to answer a big packet of questions and get lots of blood drawn. It was interesting. I couldn't even keep my eyes open on the way home (my sister was driving), It wore me out so much. It took me a couple days to recover from that one, but hey maybe my blood will help them find a cure :)

I want to do something crafty today, but I should probably just go and lay down. Sometimes when I am crafting, I forget how tired I am, and then the craft goes south and so do I! lol.

hmmmm.... I can't think of what I have been up to lately. I have been looking at lots of house plans on pinterest and dreaming of the day I will get out of this apartment. I really miss having central air. Swamp coolers just make everything moist.... so much fun....


It is warming up, I love the summer! I just want to sit on a beach or swim all the time.

Ok, well my ear is starting to ache so, I better go put some drops in my ear... and lay down.

memories

It is a very quite and solemn day here at my house. Even the weather seems to be agreeing with this day. My Lovely Grandma passed away this morning at 12:30 am

Memories of my Grandma

The memory that keeps coming to my mind the past couple of days while I knew she would be passing on at any moment is about a white owl.

I grew up (for the most part) only living a 1/2 a mile away from my grandma, she would go on walks for exercise it seemed like every morning, On a lot of these mornings my siblings, my cousins and I would be waiting for the school bus, while my grandma would start out her walk.  On this particular morning my grandma had come across a beautiful Snowy white owl that had flown into a pole and was on its last leg of life.  For the last hour or so of life my grandma cuddled  that owl and spoke soothing words to it, she said that it was scared and just needed some comforting before it died. I think back on this memory with and think of what a beautifully kind heart she had. This beautiful snowy white owl being cuddled by my grandma like it was a newborn baby.  I asked her about it later that day and she had told me that it had passed on. I am sure she or my grandpa (or maybe even both) dug a beautiful grave for the beautiful snow owl somewhere on the farm.


Grumpy Krista:
 Before my parents got divorced, I remember them going on a vacation somewhere and my grandma came and stayed with us for a whole week!  One day, I was being very grumpy and she told me to go sit on a chair until I smiled. The only thing I had to do was smile and I could get off the chair. I was so stubborn, I was determined not to smile! My siblings were playing in the back yard and it wasn't long before I was laughing at what they were doing, but then I reminded my self that I was not supposed to be smiling, but my grandma had already seen it, and I was free to go...silly me

an update...lol

Legs hurt......

why oh why am I so tired today, these days make me depressed..then I dont want to do anything....even though I had plans to do something.....I hate being on a weird sleeping schedule, but can't seem to get on a normal one...yeah, I know, you're all tired of me....but I feel a bit lonely in my struggles everyday, And that most people just don't care what I've got to deal with every day.  They go about their normal life's not giving a thought to the person who spends a good part of her day in bed....everyday..... I wouldn't wish this on anyone...... I hate it

Life

Life is life....and I don't think I will ever give up on trying to find out where all my energy went,

My latest theory......I need to go find it, it just apparently decided to get up and walk away from me, so I would have to go on many adventures to find it.....hmmm,  I guess it got bored with me!  First place I am going to look for it........DISNEYLAND!

Wish me luck!

Sleeping schedule

There are so many things I wish I could do today. I have been attempting to get on a normal sleeping pattern without the use of a sleep aid. It sucks! I think I have finally gotten the ambien out of my system, but now it seems like my sleeping habits are turned upside down. I  have not slept well all last week due to getting off said sleep aid, and so yesterday I crashed! Slept all day long in a really deep sleep. I was up at noon, for some food but was so tired I couldn't keep my eyes open. So back into bed I went and slept till 5pm! Now my body is on opposite  time and I am having a very hard time staying awake right now.  It is true that I did not fall asleep until 3 am, but one reason was because of the sudden onset of stomach cramps I had off and on until then...What do I do???? I am too tired to do anything but stare at things. Maybe I will just go back to bed...for a bit.