Woopdedoo

Hello, 

I have seem to add a new symptom to my symptoms....gagging like crazy for about an hour after I wake up (and don't even dare think that it is because I am pregnant). I look at my pills I have got to take...gag..gag..gag... I look at food....gag..gag...gag.... It seems to settle down about an hour after I wake up... Hopefully this is just a random symptom and it will be gone in a week or so like other symptoms I get.

Pregnancy is getting to be a touchy subject for me, It used to not bother me, but as I get older it is getting to me more and more. Do I want kids? Yes, the answer has always been yes, but after getting sick I kept thinking "I have just got to get over this, and then I can think about that", but It seems like after 11 years, I am not getting over this. If you understood, truly, what I go through each day, you would not want a baby to be added to this situation. I feel I will need a lot of help, and who even knows if I can have a baby? I already know I will need to be seen by a high risk pregnancy doctor because one of my condition. This is a personal subject for me, but I fet the need to write down some of my thoughts.

Recent Happenings here:

After a long time, my fence finally got installed! It is beautiful, the company did a good job I just wish they would have been better at keeping me up to date on what was going on and why it was taking so long. I was the one who had to keep reaching out to them.

We rescued a kitten, Or mostly my husband rescued it. Since I have this stupid sleep paralysis going on, he was the one getting up every two to three hours to feed the cute little thing :) Of course, my husband ( and me) fell in love with him and now he is ours forever.  Ollie is his name, and he has helped a ton with my winter depression :) He is a cuddle bug! Meep was never really that cuddly as a kitten, but Ollie is and I love it! 

Trying a new medicine, I really can't decide if its helping. I think I will stop it, since it might be the reason for my new gagging fiasco. Oh the joys of trial and error with a chronic illness. Moslty with me, it seems all to be my body going "error....error"

I have started playing a new game, and I am kind of addicted. This ark dinosaur game, it is kind of like minecraft but with dinosaurs! Yeah, it keeps my mind active, and not thinking about how yucky I feel at times :)  

Can't wait until warmer weather and when I feel a little better! I need a trip to Florida or something, but ya know, stupid covid! 

About covid, I am so excited to get my shot! Yes, I know half the people are scared of the shot, but I have done a lot of research! I hope I can get out and do more stuff! 

Yellowstone???

I have been looking at all the blogs I used to follow...none of y'all are updating your blogs for years....lol

I have consistently gone down in posts. I need to do better.

This year has been quite crazy and crappy for all of us. 

Needless to say Yellowstone was a big bust for me. I was so anxious about going and the corona virus, I maybe should have just stayed home, but I didn't. Lo and behold, I got the stomach flu/food poisoning, the second morning day in, and of course that is just miserable. But then my husband also got it...He is the one who absolutely loves to be out on the geyser basin, so I felt really bad for him. Of course he felt 85 percent better the next day and I am still super weak and nauseous anytime I do anything. 

I cut my trip short.... It was just getting to torturous for my body to be somewhere not home while feeling really really really sick. I know it is going to take me a minute to get back to my normal chronically weird self and I knew that wasn't going to be before the Yellowstone trip was over. 

LIFE

My life lately

My black out spells are worse.....my rate is constantly above 100 anytime I am standing.....so that is my update.......on my life :)

I went to Yellowstone a week and a half ago, wasn't able to do much,  Left early, did to much when I got home, and I have been sleeping a lot and at the weirdest times.... So I am in a bit of a funk, and trying to get back somewhat of a normalized schedule back. 

I hate having a chronic illness, and people who don't even know my situation giving me a hard time about missing an appointment (a rude doctors secretary) should live in my shoes for a couple of days, and then maybe she wouldn't be so rude, and it is the doctor giving her a hard time and she is passing it onto the patients, then the doctor should live be given a chronic illness for a couple of days.....

YOU SHOULDN'T"T GIVE ANYONE A HARD TIME IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE GOING THROUGH FIRST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let see if I can write all this down

I know this is littered with many errors....ugh my brain doesn't work well some days, but I would love anyone to correct the mistakes and give me insight on how I can make this more of a piece that can be understood. because my brain literally is doing this... I promise I won't be offended :)

I have had this dilemma brewing in my mind and I guess literately my body for a while now.

I really feel like if I would to just write it all down then maybe my brain will feel a little bit better and not so unorganized.

I guess I should start at the beginning, of where my brain started going crazy. I got a genetic report done, just for the fun of it to see where my ancestors are from. It was fun to see, but I also had the option to download my RAW DNA. I found this really cool site, that you can pretty much get all  the data that is out there about DNA. It's a research based company. The health reports that are generated from ancestry sites usually get their data from this company. So I was able to pay only 5 dollars and get a 40 page genetic report. Wow, it was a lot to sift through, since it wasn't in a easy readable format, but that is ok, I figured most of it out.

It came back with a bunch of new things for me to research! It was great! That's half sarcasm :) I got a lot of things that were heterogeneous and did the research and determined that I didn't have those conditions, but towards the end of my digging,  I came a crossed a term that I hadn't really hear of, called Elhers Danlos Syndome, or EDS. Now this wasn't a Heterogeneous or homozygous Gene for EDS it was a  "this Gene is related to a ton of people who have EDS and we haven't quite figured out the connection". So I started researching this EDS.....and the Hyper mobility EDS was me to a T!

https://ehlers-danlos.com/wp-content/uploads/hEDS-Dx-Criteria-checklist-1.pdf

Just in case you were wondering, I added the picture above explaining a bit about when I filled out the document. It isn't that pretty, but I think it gets my point across.

This is the new criteria and I according to this I qualify at being diagnosed with EDS, but the one problem is that it seems the only doctor who will diagnose me is  a geneticist, And there are only two in the state I live in and they both have year waiting lists. Even if I get in I am not sure how long it will take to get an actual diagnosis, maybe that day? but who knows.

My thinking is that I have always had EDS but it didn't effect me enough to get a diagnosis and it is super rare. And when doctors know that it is super rare, they just assume not to check for it.

So here I am doing research on this EDS when I notice that the lady who has ME/CFS (the condition I have also been diagnosed with) that made a very popular documentary, had a ton of updates on her story about what has happened after her documentary came out. She was contacted by an EDS doctor who had watched her documentary and was like "hey, that MRI of your brain was not actually normal"

https://medium.com/@jenbrea/cci-tethered-cord-series-e1e098b5edf

Here is the story, because I do a terrible job at reiterating it.

So next thing she knows, she is basically diagnosed with EDS and there are a lot of people with EDS that after a really bad viral bout get whats called Cranial Cervical Instability that caused them to have a whole slew of other symptoms including the very debilitating POTS! SO if you you have kept up on my story, you know that I was pretty dang healthy until I came down with the Epstein Barr virus about ten years ago. So my thinking, I have always had EDS, but led an active lifestyle and it didn't give me any big red flags to actually get diagnosed.  I get hit with an incredibly stupid virus, and my life is never the same. I have been diagnosed with POTS, if you were wondering. I feel like I am just connecting the dots. One of those dots, are my face tingles and bouts of face paralysis, that is a sign of  Cranial Cervical instability.

 I am adding a lot of the resources I have found of my journey, this is from a PDF about connecting the dots on EDS, POTS, and CCI. The above picture is from one of the pages, I checked everything I had. I have pretty good vision, so of course I didn't check that.

https://www.ehlers-danlos.com/pdf/2018-EDS-Webinar-Chopra.pdf

This link above is where a great resource on all things EDS, CCI, and POTS. Its crazy as I am reading through the article I just keep shaking my head in agreement.

I could keep putting article after article in about why my brain is heading in this direction.
If you read the whole story of Jennifer Brea and you know me personally I am not nearly as bad as she got.   I am not sure what my next steps are, I would love to get rid of my POTS, but it seems like it will be a long road to even see if I qualify to get my neck fused together ( if you don't understand how I jumped to neck fusion surgery, go back and read the first link I put in).  and honestly I would rather go down any other avenue to see if I can find relief from my symptoms before having to go through what Jennifer Brea had to go through, to just see if she qualified for surgery....ugh talk able rods in neck, being woke up after rods are placed, get a bunch of test done on rods, then put back under anesthesia to take rods out.......just read her story and you will know what I am talking about.

There goes another six months

I decided I should really write on my blog! First this will be a picture journal!

My House! I believe this was the day I moved in, I am in love!

My beautiful kitchen complete! Except for the fridge, This was a couple days before moving in and was still going through the cleaning process.

Keys to my house!

My sister published a book! I showed up later to her first book signing, and she had almost sold out of books! Its  a really good book!

End of July I started having weirder symptoms then I normally have. After a couple of scans, comes to find out I had a kidney stone lodged just outside my kidney, Well since it wasn't passing I had to go get it surgically removed. Wasn't bad, but until I had to get a stent in me...worst pain of my life for the couple of days I had that in......it was horrible. Ended up back in the ER because I wasn't given enough pain medicine. It was not fun.

My sunflower from my back yard I grew!

This is how I garden.... walker and all.

My sister, her room mate and I were looking for fall colors one Saturday! It was fun.

I was fostering litter of kitties and the mama cat ( we kept two of them). I got this cat tree. It is a lot bigger then I expected it to be, but my cats love it.

Since I have a yard to call my own now, I was able to purchase a hobby greenhouse, nothing big. My husband did most of the work in putting it together. I had read some reviewers warning about it flipping in the wind, so I had come up with a solution ( at least I thought) and was going to use a thick wire to anchor it down to the ground. I got one put in before I was out of energy and it was going to have to be done another day, thinking one was fine for now.... It took me a couple of days to feel well enough to go out and work on it, and it had been just fine and dandy out back. No problem at all, even though it had been a bit windy. Anyways I am literally staring out my back door putting on my shoes to go work on anchoring it better, when I see my green house get picked up by just the right angle of wind and start tumbling away! I scream and rush out there, grabbing the one wire I thought I had anchored well enough down. I am holding this wire, and I am pretty much panicking by now as I fight against the wind. I step on the wire and try to start calling people on my phone... of course my husband doesn't answer....next person, my dad, who answers and helps me breath a bit and at least gives me the idea to stack a bunch of stepping stones on top of the wire. I was distraught trying to get a hold of my husband, I was pretty sure my greenhouse was a goner.... I actually ended up calling the lady who works the front desk to transfer me to him! Anyways I finally get a hold of him and he comes home. By this time the greenhouse has tumbled about 30 feet from its original spot. He was able to push the greenhouse over and scoot it back to a safer spot. It now has many bent metal pieces and I am just not sure how well sealed up it is.....I promise I took pictures, but I just can't seem to find them! So when I find them, I will defiantly post them.

Crazy summer

It is wonderful summer again....Life is going too quickly for me....

I have moved into my beautiful new home!  I am loving this house, it took a while in coming,but it seems as if it was worth the wait, and the extra money (at least I hope). The moving in process is going slow. I have all my stuff in this house, but it is taking its time in being put away. It comes with this sickness.... I haven't really taken any pictures yet, because things are not in place yet, like my whole front office area is piled with cardboard, from the moving boxes and the big boxes some of our furniture came in, it is crazy......Any one need big pieces of cardboard?

I have a really cute little garden out back that my sister has been helping me out with, so far 1 cucumber and 2 zucchinis have come out of it. It is full of weeds, but as long as I can keep them out of the area of my veggie plants, it should be fine.  Funny story, I planted some "red double wave" petunia seeds last January in my apartment,  but they didn't bloom double red for sure, they are pink and white. I just bought them off of eBay, so I am thinking they didn't realize that just because they come from a "red double wave" plant, doesn't mean they will be red. They are still gorgeous :) I hopefully will be collecting some seeds so I can plant some next January :) I love watching seedlings grow.

Even though I have a nice house now, I still find my depression coming at me really bad some days....Like a couple weeks ago.....I just went and bought a puppy.....without talking to my husband......bad idea for several reasons....IT WAS A PUPPY, it took all my energy out of me, and I was in bed for days after, I should have realized this before I bought it....stupid krista. I didn't technically buy it, I asked the lady for a trial period, It was like a I babysat it for 6 hours.  I got it's nails trimmed and it had a little sanitizing bath. It was actually quite happy to go back to its siblings and mom.   Sometimes during bad depression I make awful decisions......

Tired of being tired

I am really grumpy today and the last couple of days.....

I am extremely angry at this sickness I have

I don't see an end in sight of the continual exhaustion

It's always there, sometimes pounding so hard on my brain I can't speak clearly

I hate the heart palpitations I get for doing the tiniest little things

I am tired of being tired

Doctors have failed me, they have no cure, only things they can do is MAYBE help with some of the         symptoms.

It is just so weird to think about how my life was before, this was not  something that got progressively worse....it just hit me.....flu like symptoms that NEVER went away!