Dog, Car and CFIDS update

Hello
I was on a good streak there for a while and then I disappeared, but don't worry it was just a short break.  Only a month.

Today I am in  a solemn mood,  Another one of my family dogs died yesterday. It was sudden, he wasn't really old. He was happy, go lucky dog, running around having the time of his life, and then he just fell over yesterday and died. I am suspecting a heart attack or something of that nature. I just played with him on Sunday, and now he is gone. I don't know which is better to deal with....watching a dog get old and having to go through the pain of getting older or just all the sudden having them be gone, no pain, just gone......... SO now I am going to tell stories of him

His name was Nacho, and he was beloved by many. He was rescued from death row by my father. He had just loved digging through peoples garbage's way to much, and it had landed him in the pound with no one to claim him. I am not sure how my father found out about him, but soon enough he was on the farm and loving life. Not many garbage's to raid out there, because not many neighbors.  Although he did get put in doggy jail once or twice and again my father came to the rescue. At first he was an inside dog for the most part, until the day he figured out how to jump on the table and snarfed a beloved sandwich down in under ten seconds! From that day on he was an outside dog, but no worries, I believe he enjoyed having his home be outside. He had his own doggy house, plenty of land to roam, and all the dog food he could eat. He seemed to make it a tradition to jog down to my aunts house and get fed from her all the time. He would roam to other neighbors houses to be petted and loved on, most of them knew where he belonged, and when my father would come home from work. He would trot on back down to hang out with him in the garage or anywhere my father would be working. One day I was out there, and needed to go outside quick and so I threw on my dads coat. Nacho Freaked out, and just wanted to be held and petted by me, it was hilarious because he could smell so much of my father on me.  Sweetest dog ever, and he will be missed! I ordered the cement to make his stepping stone. I will have to post pictures of it when it is done.


That is nacho in a nutshell. I am still in shock. He is just gone.

Summer has officially came and of course it is hot, and you will probably hear me complain about how hot my apartment is because we have a swamp cooler instead of central air, but I do have a portable AC that seems to just keep my bedroom cool enough. So there is a plus.

We bought a new car this past week and I love it! Although RB is having major remorse over buying it because of something the car fax reported, I am having it checked out thoroughly and so hopefully all is well with it. It is a hybrid and so quite!


Time for my CFIDS Update: I have been doing terrible at taking this new med, so today I installed an app on my phone to shout at me when to take it. I am resolved to doing better and making more notes on how it is going. My arm has been feeling weird. It is my left arm, and it is on the underneath part. It has been happening for a couple of days.....not sure what to make of it. Besides that everything is the same old here in the CFIDS department. Tired lots, OI issues, sleep issues, you know stuff that normally comes with CFIDS.

Isn't the best time for a blog post 2 in the morning??

As you guessed by the title, I am not asleep and it is almost 2 am in the morning. I have been trying really hard to fall asleep, and I know one of the suggestions that has helped me is if I have not fallen asleep after laying there for a while get up and do something small. A lot of times, for me that is writing of some sort.  I guess it helps sort out all of the stuff in my head and helps me sleep better.

I have gotten off ambien again, It sucks being on it, but it also sucks being off it. I know some people are thinking, I thought she had Chronic Fatigue...Why can't she sleep....Well it isn't that I am not tired, because I am....My brain just doesn't want to shut off.  Life with CFS is so interesting. At times I can hardly keep my eyes open and can't make a coherent sentence come out of my mouth. Or I start switching words all over the place without even realizing it, until someone has said something...LOL, it doesn't bother me when I do that, I just find it funny.

Well this might be a long blog post and I am sorry in advance, but hey if I quit in the middle that means I got too tired to continue and then fell asleep.....Maybe in front of my computer....but hey I am asleep at least! SO I guess I should continue about what has been going on in my life.

Last week was a really exciting and anxiety ridden week, but I really didn't want my anxiety to win out (thank goodness for anti-anxiety pills). One of my roommates moved up to my end of the world, or at least closer then she was and decided it was time for a fun roomie get together!  She still had to drive 2 hours, but at least it wasn't 5 or 6.  She drove up and we met up at my house along with our other roomie  from that year, that doesn't live to far away from me.  It was a fun evening and I am glad my excitement won over! No random gut aches, no nausea, and no dizziness :) I kept thinking throughout the night "I can't believe it has been 10 years since we were roommates!" It really does not seem that long ago. I just feel like I could write so much about these 2 wonderful people that have changed my life!  I will save that for my other journal.....yes I keep another journal.....although not as well as this one.....College (and highschool, one was my friend in highschool also) would not have been the same without them. Thanks GUYS! If you ever read this, and sorry for being an over talker....I keep thinking that I talked way too much!!!

Another thing I did was get a perm! Yeah, I have not had one since highschool and I was wanting to see how I like it again......the verdict....I LOVE IT! It has been fun! We well see if I still feel that way in a couple of months :)


Some memories that linger around in my head feel like they just happened, it is weird to think how much time has gone by.


Tomorrow/today, since it is technically today, I have a family reunion to go too. I really hope I can fall asleep soon, and get enough sleep to be able to go....Because it is one of my favorite days of the year!


Maybe at the end of each blog I should do a medical update kind of thing....I don't really like the term medical......hmmm I think of something....any ways


CFS update:Started out on a new medication for my racing heart, no bad side effects so far, but I also haven't noticed any improvement either, but I have not been monitoring like I should when I take it. So my goal is to take medication and monitor and write down results.

Grumpy wife

 My husband is the coolest guy, but sometimes he has a really grumpy wife. Today was one of those day.

My weekend consisted of things I usually don't do, I guess I will start from the beginning.

 I did a landscape a couple years ago and decided that it needed some TLC this spring.   One hour on Friday and two on Saturday.....yeah I am having Post external malaise (as my doctor would call it) pretty bad. I feel super crappy and my whole body aches..... So my husband walks into my craft room asking if I was mad at him and I told him I wasn't that I was just rethinking some of my life choices. You know, because I am dramatic like that. The only choice I was rethinking was working on the landscape. I have two of my younger cousins helping me out, and I can't really just say "ok I want you to do this, this, and this" and expect it to get done exactly the way I want it, so I need to show them how...which is perfectly fine, because usually people can't read my mind. They are youngins (as I call them) and not really had landscaping experience before.  But back to telling my husband this, it doesn't come out pleasant and he walks away all sad.....Don't worry I explained my over dramatic response.

Yes, so I am pretty sore today and don't feel like moving at all.

Realization

Lately, I have come to realize something,  I am the kind of person who thinks I am friends with everyone, even if we were friends forever ago, and they all have new lives and new friends and new family, and I am just stuck in the past...I don't know if this makes sense, but it is just what has been going through my mind lately. Over the past 8 years, I have been exposed, let's say, to way less people than the normal person. I don't have a job, don't have kids,  etc etc...... I haven't made many new friends....I mean, don't get me wrong, I love all the friends I have, even if they don't consider me a friend anymore. I just feel like most people have moved on with their lives and kind of have forgotten about me.... This is not supposed to be a downer post and I am not feeling sorry for myself, as I said earlier, It is becoming something I am realizing about my life as time goes on..BUT the more I think about it the more I become sorry for myself......um yeah, so I am going to stop talking about this subject, because I hate feeling sorry for myself


I seem to get extremely talkative and emotional when I take excedrin migraine medicine. Does this happen to anyone else? Emotional like, I am on the verge of tears one second and laughing about something else the next. It brings up too many emotions to deal with all at once, and I end up talking my husband's ear off. I don't like taking it, but Ibuprofen doesn't seem to work for my headaches anymore.

Today is Easter Sunday!

I am not doing much, Woke up with a headache.

I keep thinking of things I would like to do, but my craft room is kind of inaccessible right now. My ceiling is finally getting fixed. It just needs to have all the hardware put back on and then painted. So that room has everything shoved to one side and has a tarp over it.

I used to go to my Grandma Ma-t's house and we would play egg-ee-eye-over. It was super fun, we would get into teams and throw eggs from the back yard over the house,  and hit the others in the front of the house. It was always a hoot!

I have set some goals for myself, and I know it sounds a bit kiddish but I have made a sticker chart to go with it. It helps keep me motivated! Because it is hard to stay motivated.

Yay for March!

I am so glad that this winter is almost over.  I am glad that I will be able to go out and about more when the weather is warmer!

RB and I went to an accountant to get our taxes done this year. They are all done now, so that is nice.

I really want to move out of this apartment. This is probably the least favorite place I have lived since being married.... *knocks on wood*

My dog passed away a little bit ago, I call him my dog, but he belonged to all the family really. He was my step moms dog, when she moved in he came with her, he was a little yorkie and just adorable. He was about 16 years old, and had many health problems by the end.  He loved cuddles, and loved to play with the big dogs.  I could always be happily greeted by him when I came to visit after I moved away. I made him a stepping stone to put on his grave. It is still sitting on my couch, my family got sick with the flu so I have been waiting till they get better to go over there.

Evil little Monster

I must have done too much, I slept 14 hours over the last day and I still feel tired, probably an early bedtime for me tonight. I have slept on and off most of today....It is just fine though,  if my body needs the sleep then I will let me sleep. Might be a bug affecting me also, so we shall see.

I was reading through my journals the other day, trying to figure out the date to an event in  my life. It is so interesting to see all the things I did pre-sickness, I was normal. Sometimes it is hard for me to read, because it reminds me of what I used to be able to do, but this time it wasn't as hard. It was mostly during my college days.  One reason I love Facebook is because I still feel connected to the world and I am friends with all these wonderful people I went to college with, and get to know what they are up to these days.

Stinking awful virus. It just took too  much of a toll on my body and it has never been able to recover from what the evil little monster did to me. Leaving me with only a little bit of what I used to be....