Wow
I slept for like a whole day......I hate when that happens..
Monday, September 5, 2016
Monday, August 8, 2016
Birthday
Today is my birthday! I really can't believe another year has gone by
I just got back from Yellowstone yesterday, it was a fun week.
I was able to catch a rare geyser this year, called Fan and Mortar. This year it has gone off between every 4-5 days. It was on its fifth day without going and according to the geyser gazers on the radio it was having really good signs of going. So I drove to the Lower Ham store, and walked very slowly, with many stops down to the geyser....It isn't that far of a walk for a non-CFIDS person :) Probably not even a mile, but alas this is my life. I had my nice big umbrella, Plenty of water, my compression socks on and I was off! Although my awesome husband was carrying all of this for me. It was perfect! He is a foot taller then me and so when he holds the umbrella it covers me perfectly (and also him, so it works out for both of us). Most of the other family members were down there, and we got there perfect timing. I will have to post a video of RB explaining why the water levels and stuff looked good when I get it edited. I probably only waited a half hour and BOOM it was going off! It had a bit of a rocky start and kept teasing all the really serious Geyser Gazers :) It was so spectacular! I have a video of the whole eruption, including me almost being run over by a crowd of screaming people because the sudden shift of wind made a lot of water come raining down on them, it was great!
Other geysers I got to see :
Grand Geyser!
Beehive Geyser!
Old Faithful Geyser (of course)!
Mugwump (very small geyser but it hasn;t been active in years and years)
Lion Geyser ( from a bit of a distance)
Castle Geyser!
I have to give a big shout out to my sister in law! I would not have seen about half of these geysers if she didn't push my around in a wheel chair on geyser hill! THANK YOU!!!!
Wednesday, July 13, 2016
It's hard to drive over about 30 minutes for me..... so when my doctors an hour and a half away it causes me major anxiety... because getting there is one thing, and then getting home is another issue....hmmmmmmm...... but it's the only doctor in the state that's specializes in cfids......so yeah..I just need to plan better..
Thursday, July 7, 2016
And so it comes to writing all my feelings down
I don't know if I will ever publish this, but this is how I have dealt with things my whole life.
I have decided that my mother and her new husband are not welcome in my house anymore.
Maybe I will write down my whole story someday you will all understand, but as of right now I do not care if you judge me and say that is rude. You think, That is your mother how could you say that.
Well I have just kicked them out of the house...
My mom believes that she is some sort of prophetess and she can tell you exactly what to do because it is coming from god and the worst part is, that her husband believes everything she comes up with.
When I was younger, my mom basically kidnapped me and my siblings. She took us on some crazy adventures and my dad had no clue where 4 of his kids were for what seemed like eternity to him, I remember it very well and it seemed like eternity to me too. Waking up each day and having my mom drive us to a different hotel and give them unknown names. One night she told me the next day we were going on jet and never coming back. I was scared out of my mind and I don't think any 9 year old should ever have to go through this. I missed my dad and knew that I just needed to get back to him where it was safe.....
See my mom is bi-polar.....manic depressive...what ever you want to call it, and she had gone off the deep end. She would say things like "your dad killed your brother, by sawing off the tree branch he was playing on." see my oldest brother was not with us.
The other things she would say when I said I wanted to go home were " where is home?" "It does not exsist?" She had no clue what she was doing and she was crazy and I knew it! It was one of the scariest times of my life and I do not talk about it lightly or to hardly anyone......But everytime my mom visits it brings up these crazy times and I can not stand it. She acts like she is all the perfect angel and my dad is a horrible devil.....side note my dad was granted full custody of his kids......She blames it on him and believes that the way we are is because of him! Well I am proud to say that the way I am is because Exactly how my father raised me and that is exactly who I want to be!!
I am sorry and I have just decided I am going to post this...... I might delete it when I am not so mad and I wrote it quickly and I am so sorry for all the mistakes.... in this blog, but I feel like I have just held it in for so long.... I will write my whole story some day, but that is not today......
I have decided that my mother and her new husband are not welcome in my house anymore.
Maybe I will write down my whole story someday you will all understand, but as of right now I do not care if you judge me and say that is rude. You think, That is your mother how could you say that.
Well I have just kicked them out of the house...
My mom believes that she is some sort of prophetess and she can tell you exactly what to do because it is coming from god and the worst part is, that her husband believes everything she comes up with.
When I was younger, my mom basically kidnapped me and my siblings. She took us on some crazy adventures and my dad had no clue where 4 of his kids were for what seemed like eternity to him, I remember it very well and it seemed like eternity to me too. Waking up each day and having my mom drive us to a different hotel and give them unknown names. One night she told me the next day we were going on jet and never coming back. I was scared out of my mind and I don't think any 9 year old should ever have to go through this. I missed my dad and knew that I just needed to get back to him where it was safe.....
See my mom is bi-polar.....manic depressive...what ever you want to call it, and she had gone off the deep end. She would say things like "your dad killed your brother, by sawing off the tree branch he was playing on." see my oldest brother was not with us.
The other things she would say when I said I wanted to go home were " where is home?" "It does not exsist?" She had no clue what she was doing and she was crazy and I knew it! It was one of the scariest times of my life and I do not talk about it lightly or to hardly anyone......But everytime my mom visits it brings up these crazy times and I can not stand it. She acts like she is all the perfect angel and my dad is a horrible devil.....side note my dad was granted full custody of his kids......She blames it on him and believes that the way we are is because of him! Well I am proud to say that the way I am is because Exactly how my father raised me and that is exactly who I want to be!!
I am sorry and I have just decided I am going to post this...... I might delete it when I am not so mad and I wrote it quickly and I am so sorry for all the mistakes.... in this blog, but I feel like I have just held it in for so long.... I will write my whole story some day, but that is not today......
Friday, June 24, 2016
Dog, Car and CFIDS update
Hello
I was on a good streak there for a while and then I disappeared, but don't worry it was just a short break. Only a month.
Today I am in a solemn mood, Another one of my family dogs died yesterday. It was sudden, he wasn't really old. He was happy, go lucky dog, running around having the time of his life, and then he just fell over yesterday and died. I am suspecting a heart attack or something of that nature. I just played with him on Sunday, and now he is gone. I don't know which is better to deal with....watching a dog get old and having to go through the pain of getting older or just all the sudden having them be gone, no pain, just gone......... SO now I am going to tell stories of him
His name was Nacho, and he was beloved by many. He was rescued from death row by my father. He had just loved digging through peoples garbage's way to much, and it had landed him in the pound with no one to claim him. I am not sure how my father found out about him, but soon enough he was on the farm and loving life. Not many garbage's to raid out there, because not many neighbors. Although he did get put in doggy jail once or twice and again my father came to the rescue. At first he was an inside dog for the most part, until the day he figured out how to jump on the table and snarfed a beloved sandwich down in under ten seconds! From that day on he was an outside dog, but no worries, I believe he enjoyed having his home be outside. He had his own doggy house, plenty of land to roam, and all the dog food he could eat. He seemed to make it a tradition to jog down to my aunts house and get fed from her all the time. He would roam to other neighbors houses to be petted and loved on, most of them knew where he belonged, and when my father would come home from work. He would trot on back down to hang out with him in the garage or anywhere my father would be working. One day I was out there, and needed to go outside quick and so I threw on my dads coat. Nacho Freaked out, and just wanted to be held and petted by me, it was hilarious because he could smell so much of my father on me. Sweetest dog ever, and he will be missed! I ordered the cement to make his stepping stone. I will have to post pictures of it when it is done.
That is nacho in a nutshell. I am still in shock. He is just gone.
Summer has officially came and of course it is hot, and you will probably hear me complain about how hot my apartment is because we have a swamp cooler instead of central air, but I do have a portable AC that seems to just keep my bedroom cool enough. So there is a plus.
We bought a new car this past week and I love it! Although RB is having major remorse over buying it because of something the car fax reported, I am having it checked out thoroughly and so hopefully all is well with it. It is a hybrid and so quite!
Time for my CFIDS Update: I have been doing terrible at taking this new med, so today I installed an app on my phone to shout at me when to take it. I am resolved to doing better and making more notes on how it is going. My arm has been feeling weird. It is my left arm, and it is on the underneath part. It has been happening for a couple of days.....not sure what to make of it. Besides that everything is the same old here in the CFIDS department. Tired lots, OI issues, sleep issues, you know stuff that normally comes with CFIDS.
I was on a good streak there for a while and then I disappeared, but don't worry it was just a short break. Only a month.
Today I am in a solemn mood, Another one of my family dogs died yesterday. It was sudden, he wasn't really old. He was happy, go lucky dog, running around having the time of his life, and then he just fell over yesterday and died. I am suspecting a heart attack or something of that nature. I just played with him on Sunday, and now he is gone. I don't know which is better to deal with....watching a dog get old and having to go through the pain of getting older or just all the sudden having them be gone, no pain, just gone......... SO now I am going to tell stories of him
His name was Nacho, and he was beloved by many. He was rescued from death row by my father. He had just loved digging through peoples garbage's way to much, and it had landed him in the pound with no one to claim him. I am not sure how my father found out about him, but soon enough he was on the farm and loving life. Not many garbage's to raid out there, because not many neighbors. Although he did get put in doggy jail once or twice and again my father came to the rescue. At first he was an inside dog for the most part, until the day he figured out how to jump on the table and snarfed a beloved sandwich down in under ten seconds! From that day on he was an outside dog, but no worries, I believe he enjoyed having his home be outside. He had his own doggy house, plenty of land to roam, and all the dog food he could eat. He seemed to make it a tradition to jog down to my aunts house and get fed from her all the time. He would roam to other neighbors houses to be petted and loved on, most of them knew where he belonged, and when my father would come home from work. He would trot on back down to hang out with him in the garage or anywhere my father would be working. One day I was out there, and needed to go outside quick and so I threw on my dads coat. Nacho Freaked out, and just wanted to be held and petted by me, it was hilarious because he could smell so much of my father on me. Sweetest dog ever, and he will be missed! I ordered the cement to make his stepping stone. I will have to post pictures of it when it is done.
That is nacho in a nutshell. I am still in shock. He is just gone.
Summer has officially came and of course it is hot, and you will probably hear me complain about how hot my apartment is because we have a swamp cooler instead of central air, but I do have a portable AC that seems to just keep my bedroom cool enough. So there is a plus.
We bought a new car this past week and I love it! Although RB is having major remorse over buying it because of something the car fax reported, I am having it checked out thoroughly and so hopefully all is well with it. It is a hybrid and so quite!
Time for my CFIDS Update: I have been doing terrible at taking this new med, so today I installed an app on my phone to shout at me when to take it. I am resolved to doing better and making more notes on how it is going. My arm has been feeling weird. It is my left arm, and it is on the underneath part. It has been happening for a couple of days.....not sure what to make of it. Besides that everything is the same old here in the CFIDS department. Tired lots, OI issues, sleep issues, you know stuff that normally comes with CFIDS.
Saturday, May 21, 2016
Isn't the best time for a blog post 2 in the morning??
As you guessed by the title, I am not asleep and it is almost 2 am in the morning. I have been trying really hard to fall asleep, and I know one of the suggestions that has helped me is if I have not fallen asleep after laying there for a while get up and do something small. A lot of times, for me that is writing of some sort. I guess it helps sort out all of the stuff in my head and helps me sleep better.
I have gotten off ambien again, It sucks being on it, but it also sucks being off it. I know some people are thinking, I thought she had Chronic Fatigue...Why can't she sleep....Well it isn't that I am not tired, because I am....My brain just doesn't want to shut off. Life with CFS is so interesting. At times I can hardly keep my eyes open and can't make a coherent sentence come out of my mouth. Or I start switching words all over the place without even realizing it, until someone has said something...LOL, it doesn't bother me when I do that, I just find it funny.
Well this might be a long blog post and I am sorry in advance, but hey if I quit in the middle that means I got too tired to continue and then fell asleep.....Maybe in front of my computer....but hey I am asleep at least! SO I guess I should continue about what has been going on in my life.
Last week was a really exciting and anxiety ridden week, but I really didn't want my anxiety to win out (thank goodness for anti-anxiety pills). One of my roommates moved up to my end of the world, or at least closer then she was and decided it was time for a fun roomie get together! She still had to drive 2 hours, but at least it wasn't 5 or 6. She drove up and we met up at my house along with our other roomie from that year, that doesn't live to far away from me. It was a fun evening and I am glad my excitement won over! No random gut aches, no nausea, and no dizziness :) I kept thinking throughout the night "I can't believe it has been 10 years since we were roommates!" It really does not seem that long ago. I just feel like I could write so much about these 2 wonderful people that have changed my life! I will save that for my other journal.....yes I keep another journal.....although not as well as this one.....College (and highschool, one was my friend in highschool also) would not have been the same without them. Thanks GUYS! If you ever read this, and sorry for being an over talker....I keep thinking that I talked way too much!!!
Another thing I did was get a perm! Yeah, I have not had one since highschool and I was wanting to see how I like it again......the verdict....I LOVE IT! It has been fun! We well see if I still feel that way in a couple of months :)
Some memories that linger around in my head feel like they just happened, it is weird to think how much time has gone by.
Tomorrow/today, since it is technically today, I have a family reunion to go too. I really hope I can fall asleep soon, and get enough sleep to be able to go....Because it is one of my favorite days of the year!
Maybe at the end of each blog I should do a medical update kind of thing....I don't really like the term medical......hmmm I think of something....any ways
CFS update:Started out on a new medication for my racing heart, no bad side effects so far, but I also haven't noticed any improvement either, but I have not been monitoring like I should when I take it. So my goal is to take medication and monitor and write down results.
I have gotten off ambien again, It sucks being on it, but it also sucks being off it. I know some people are thinking, I thought she had Chronic Fatigue...Why can't she sleep....Well it isn't that I am not tired, because I am....My brain just doesn't want to shut off. Life with CFS is so interesting. At times I can hardly keep my eyes open and can't make a coherent sentence come out of my mouth. Or I start switching words all over the place without even realizing it, until someone has said something...LOL, it doesn't bother me when I do that, I just find it funny.
Well this might be a long blog post and I am sorry in advance, but hey if I quit in the middle that means I got too tired to continue and then fell asleep.....Maybe in front of my computer....but hey I am asleep at least! SO I guess I should continue about what has been going on in my life.
Last week was a really exciting and anxiety ridden week, but I really didn't want my anxiety to win out (thank goodness for anti-anxiety pills). One of my roommates moved up to my end of the world, or at least closer then she was and decided it was time for a fun roomie get together! She still had to drive 2 hours, but at least it wasn't 5 or 6. She drove up and we met up at my house along with our other roomie from that year, that doesn't live to far away from me. It was a fun evening and I am glad my excitement won over! No random gut aches, no nausea, and no dizziness :) I kept thinking throughout the night "I can't believe it has been 10 years since we were roommates!" It really does not seem that long ago. I just feel like I could write so much about these 2 wonderful people that have changed my life! I will save that for my other journal.....yes I keep another journal.....although not as well as this one.....College (and highschool, one was my friend in highschool also) would not have been the same without them. Thanks GUYS! If you ever read this, and sorry for being an over talker....I keep thinking that I talked way too much!!!
Another thing I did was get a perm! Yeah, I have not had one since highschool and I was wanting to see how I like it again......the verdict....I LOVE IT! It has been fun! We well see if I still feel that way in a couple of months :)
Some memories that linger around in my head feel like they just happened, it is weird to think how much time has gone by.
Tomorrow/today, since it is technically today, I have a family reunion to go too. I really hope I can fall asleep soon, and get enough sleep to be able to go....Because it is one of my favorite days of the year!
Maybe at the end of each blog I should do a medical update kind of thing....I don't really like the term medical......hmmm I think of something....any ways
CFS update:Started out on a new medication for my racing heart, no bad side effects so far, but I also haven't noticed any improvement either, but I have not been monitoring like I should when I take it. So my goal is to take medication and monitor and write down results.
Sunday, May 8, 2016
Grumpy wife
My husband is the coolest guy, but sometimes he has a really grumpy wife. Today was one of those day.
My weekend consisted of things I usually don't do, I guess I will start from the beginning.
I did a landscape a couple years ago and decided that it needed some TLC this spring. One hour on Friday and two on Saturday.....yeah I am having Post external malaise (as my doctor would call it) pretty bad. I feel super crappy and my whole body aches..... So my husband walks into my craft room asking if I was mad at him and I told him I wasn't that I was just rethinking some of my life choices. You know, because I am dramatic like that. The only choice I was rethinking was working on the landscape. I have two of my younger cousins helping me out, and I can't really just say "ok I want you to do this, this, and this" and expect it to get done exactly the way I want it, so I need to show them how...which is perfectly fine, because usually people can't read my mind. They are youngins (as I call them) and not really had landscaping experience before. But back to telling my husband this, it doesn't come out pleasant and he walks away all sad.....Don't worry I explained my over dramatic response.
Yes, so I am pretty sore today and don't feel like moving at all.
My weekend consisted of things I usually don't do, I guess I will start from the beginning.
I did a landscape a couple years ago and decided that it needed some TLC this spring. One hour on Friday and two on Saturday.....yeah I am having Post external malaise (as my doctor would call it) pretty bad. I feel super crappy and my whole body aches..... So my husband walks into my craft room asking if I was mad at him and I told him I wasn't that I was just rethinking some of my life choices. You know, because I am dramatic like that. The only choice I was rethinking was working on the landscape. I have two of my younger cousins helping me out, and I can't really just say "ok I want you to do this, this, and this" and expect it to get done exactly the way I want it, so I need to show them how...which is perfectly fine, because usually people can't read my mind. They are youngins (as I call them) and not really had landscaping experience before. But back to telling my husband this, it doesn't come out pleasant and he walks away all sad.....Don't worry I explained my over dramatic response.
Yes, so I am pretty sore today and don't feel like moving at all.
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