Yeah yeah, I know

Yeah, I know my last post was pretty depressing. What can I say? My blog is here and I use it basically like its my own personal journal. I have even made it into an actually hard copy journal. It is a nice little book on my bookshelf.

I am really bad at updating, because I feel like my life really doesn't change that much. This week is thanksgiving, and I will be visiting my family.

I am participating in Nanowrimo, although I am incredibly behind. I am only at 10500 words, and I am supposed to be in the 30,000, but I am not disappointed at all, I am surprised I have gotten to ten thousand words. My Goal is to keep writing on it, even if it just a little bit at a time. I have gotten my character into a forest and has been stuck there for a while......it is like, I can't connect this point to this point. I like to just skip ahead, and I think that is what I will be doing. All of the sudden she will just be out of the forest.

Winter is hard. I mean, I really like a lot of things about winter like: pumpkins, turkeys, presents, holiday smells, electric blankets, beautiful snowy days, cuddles, and fireplaces. I could think of more, but I think you get the point. The reason it is hard is because I feel the affects of my CFIDS/SIEDS more drastically during the winter, and then their is always more depression. So it is harder then other seasons.

My sister has been coming and helping me out once a week, and it has been really awesome!  That is something new.  She didn't have a job for a bit, and so I hired her!  Don't worry she has a job now, but still helps me out. I have loved it. I feel less depressed with a cleaner home!

I have a doctors appoitment this week, my side has been bugging me and so I decided I should get it checked out. I will (hopefully) keep ya updated, but I guess if you don't hear an update then all is well in that area.

Another thing! I have an awesome husband. I just wanted the world to know.  I met him and married him before all this weird stuff happened to my body, and he loves me just as I am. We had been married for 3 in a half years before I got really sick, and I am glad he has been by my side through it all! For some reason, people find out that I have not been sick all my life, (you know only for the past six years (and now I am having a debate in my head, its not like a sickness, more like a disability, maybe I should just refer to it as my disability, but then some people who are disabled refer to them selves as being sick.....but at times all I feel is sick....I just don't know)) they are shocked a bit, and even more shocked that my husband married me before I was sick..... Its like they think, that if your disabled/sick that is what state you should have been in when you got married.....of that is just another rant going on in my brain......Anyways, yes my husband is awesome, and he does awesome things! He wrote a book a while ago, a technical book and it has been doing really well. I am very proud of him!


Wow this blog post got long. And  now all I want to know is my word count.....stinkin nanowrimo

Some days I feel like my life is over, because the future looks pretty bleak.......

Chills?

Hello
I am determined to write more in this blog.

Today I took a medication that is supposed to help with my heart racing when I stand up....for my POTS.... the theory is my heart has a hard time compensating when standing up trying to get the blood pumped around my whole body, I have a lower Blood pressure when this happens also, So I am on this medicine that helps bring up my blood pressure by constricting my vessels hopefully making it not so hard for my heart to pump blood around my body......What really happens....
My heart still seems to race...... I still feel woozy when I am up and doing things and still feel the need to sit down to ease my heart...and then a side effect of the medicine is every single hair on my body feels like it standing straight up....like when you get the chills, but a constant chill.... I get cold even when it is warm in my apartment. My husband is probably going to come home and say something about how hot it is in here :)....I don't really see a difference in taking this.....not sure what to do..

I have been reading a book, It is a really nerdy book...The Martian, but I like it because the dude is a botanist (along with an engineer) and gets stuck on Mars. I am about half way through it.


UGG!! Chills! all the time!


ok bye

Hello

Well, Today is another Sunday, and yet another day that I slept until 2pm... It is really weird.... I don't really ever understand my body. It is not like I didn't go to bed at a decent time. I actually didn't have much trouble falling asleep last night.  My husband woke me up about the time to get ready for church. I had a headache, took some pills and fell back alseep until 2pm.... well how fun *she said sarcasticly* I don;t know what people really think of me never going to church....I don't feel inactive, I just feel.......like I am drained all the time.....I feel like I really do what I can!

Anyway that is my rant for the day.....

when I am awake, I feel like there are so many things I want to do....I made a list of projects I want to work on....and it has just been sitting there........that kind of makes me more depressed by just looking at it, and seeing all the things I didn't do this summer.... I really feel like the summer has just gone by way to fast.

I did attend a writing class once a week(for 5 weeks) that was taught by Author Heather Frost! I did miss one week due to not feeling well. They were taught in the evening and for some odd reason that is always the time I usually feel the best. It was really fun! My sister would come over earlier in the day, and she would clean my house :) I really need the help I have come to realize...Having a cleaner house definitely makes me less depressed, but it makes me even more depressed sitting in a dirty house, and not feeling like I can clean it. So I have hired my sister for now (yes, I pay her:) And it has been wonderful!!! Anyways, she would come help out, and then we would both attend this class and then after we would meet my husband for dinner somewhere! It has been fun!

I celebrated my birthday in Yellowstone this year. I have done that a couple of times in the past, but it has been a while.  It is fun having my birthday in Yellowstone, but  I miss having the cake :) but that is ok, I should go buy me a small cake  this week and we can have a little celebration!

This week is also my anniversary! Holy crap! Time really does fly right by!

What?

Next thing I know is summer is coming to an end? Wait what? I feel like I haven't done anything.

I just got back from my yearly trip from Yellowstone last saturday.

I finished the puzzle I have been working on for weeks last night.

I slept through a doctors appointment today

I didn't fall asleep until 5 am this morning.....silly panicy thinking brain.

I emailed my doctor....we shall see how that goes.

I read three books last week in Yellowstone! It was awesome!

I have not yet been to bear lake this year :(

Yes.....not feeling well today.

My POTS has been a bit crazy! I did not exercise for an hour......Really I would just stand up and my heart goes crazy.

no sleep krista

I have not slept all night long..............I laid there, everything quite, but couldn't sleep, got up and did some light cleaning, and laid back down.....It didn't work. Got back up and have been trying to do other things, I wonder if I go lay down, I will be able to sleep.... I sure feel tired, but my body doesn't seem to like to ever have a good nights rest.


and remember, I like comments! At least happy ones:)